While I sit here & write, Abigail is on the floor behind me, negotiating the shrink wrap on one of my cds. My cd has become a toy on the floor. I ordered 1000 cds when I recorded it in 2003 and I've managed to sell or give away a good 5 or 600 of them. In that, I feel relatively successful. It does not upset me in the least that my cd has become a toy. It actually gives me warms & fuzzies. :)
What it represents to me is that she doesn't have a clue about who I was before she came along and she just sees me as mom. I have a clean slate. I love that more than anything because I have nothing to prove to her except that I am mommy and that I will always, always be there to snuggle her and guide her in a peaceful, loving direction.
As I pause to wipe the long messy boog from Abigail's nose & grab the guitar pick out of her mouth-bound hand on this peacefully overcast morning, I think, I am a success, and I have the rest of my life to develop my legacy. No hurry.
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